A few friends and I had planned a weekend getaway to a relative’s house on the East Coast of Florida. Before leaving for our trip, bedroom assignments were made and instructions to bring our own bedding. Lucky me! I was getting the Master Bedroom suite! WooHoo.

We made the drive in good time even including a stop at the Trader Joe’s located a few miles from our destination. Some snack foods and a dessert in hand we drove on to the home. Oh my, what a lovely house. Two stories, 5 bedrooms, amazing decor, an awesome kitchen, lanai, with a pool and lake in the back. What more could we want for a weekend away?

Well, running water for one. After putting groceries away and feeling a bit grungy, we noticed the water in the kitchen wasn’t working. Oh, they must have turned it off. No problem. We found the valves and turned. Uh, still no water. Back door and front door open and me at the kitchen sink checking the water.

“Is it on now?”
“No” the message is relayed out each door.
“How about now?”
“No, still no water.”

Upon further investigation and a Face Time phone call it was discovered that unfortunately, the main water had been turned off by the water company. The owner had not received the bill in time to pay it before we arrived. Talk about embarrassing.

First Rule: If you use the toilet, you must get a bucket of water for the next person

Second Rule: There is only so much hand sanitizer to go around. Use sparingly.

Third Rule: Those make-up remover cloths are NOT for hand washing. Next time bring some backup baby wipes.

Thank God for the pool and buckets. We would make this work!

After dinner and a few hands of cards we each retired to our respective bedrooms.

Mine was lovely. A Barbie Dream Suite. Fantastic art on the walls. Flower arrangements on the dresser. A guest tray with a French Press and coffee cups. A comfortable chair with matching ottoman along with a bench at the foot of the bed. And a HUGE King size 4 poster bed complete with shams and decorator pillows of various sizes. Quite inviting.

Clothes changed and sheets ready, I was all set to get into bed.

Houston, we have a problem.

The top of the bed is above my waist!
Say What??
Are these people Giants? I looked around the room for a step stool. Nope. Nothing in the closet, bathroom or hidden in the corner somewhere. Okay I said to myself, you can do this.

Hey, give the bench a try.

Attempt 1. Okay, I got on the bench.

Wait a second, the foot board is formidable. There is no way that I’m going to be able to avoid the fan as well as scale the foot board and get over it even from the bench.

Attempt 2. Use one of the posts.

Yeah, that’ll work. It’s like a stripper pole. Just grab on and swing on up! I can do that!

NOPE
ABORT, ABORT.

Attempt 3. Running start.

Really, that is a non-starter. Considering that the last time I went running was when my kids were in elementary school during the Bush 1 administration. Plus, my knees aren’t what they used to be.

Okay, the chair and ottoman were looking really good at this point. As I sat on the ottoman, I sank about 18 inches. Yeah, really soft and plush. I put my sheets on the chair and got cozy. I got one of the pillows from the bed and scrunched into the chair. No, that wasn’t comfortable. Maybe the other side. Ugh. A few more pillows. After about an hour of squirming this way and that. I gave up. I went in search one more time for a step stool and come up empty, again.

Attempt 4: I was determined to get on this damn bed.

I tossed the sheets back on the bed and psyched myself up for the arduous climb. I inched close to the nightstand. I got one leg partially up on the bed, my head dropped further below the top of the mattress, I reached out, gripped the nightstand for support and leverage, hoisted myself up and clambered onto the bed.

SUCESS!

I was exhausted, sweaty and grateful that I’d used the bathroom before this final try. At long last, I was in the bed and not getting out until morning.

The smell of fresh coffee beckoned. I slid down the side of the bed and finally touched down. I made my way to the kitchen. Ahhh, coffee.

We had a wonderful day and fun with bucket after bucket of water brought in from the pool for the toilets.

I asked if anyone had seen a step stool or something that I could use to get into bed that night. Yippee! We located something under one of the cases of water when it was moved!

My final night in the sky-scraper of a bed was restful as well as easy to get into.

Ahh, home sweet home.

Running water is always great. So is being able to sleep in an actual bed.

Frances Graziano Copyright 2018 All Rights Reserved