Have you said something over and over again to your spouse and he/she looks at you as if they never heard you? Guess what. There is a term for it. Bet you didn’t know that. The term is ‘Spouse-deafness’. Say What????
An actual term for Him not listening to me? Who Knew? No wonder he didn’t take out the trash after repeated requests. Or he keeps leaving the door open when he goes outside. I guess my ‘gentle nudge, said at a slightly louder decibel than my normal speaking voice’ “Shut the Damn Door!” fell on ‘spouse-deaf’ ears.
It has been noted that over time, a spouse, significant other, life partner etc. stops ‘hearing’ your voice. Your once sultry sound becomes a dull,droning, hum. Similar to Muzak in an elevator or store. It is there but you don’t pay it any attention. They hear you but your voice isn’t making an impact.
I’m not suggesting to start yelling to get your loved one’s attention. Simply yelling hasn’t worked lately anyway. Maybe get fact to face, look them in the eye and say “Shut the damn door.” This might have an effect if you add “Please.” Eye contact, face to face, kinda hard to ignore you now, right? You know they heard you this time.
‘Spouse-deafness’ doesn’t need to be permanent. A suggestion is to change the quality of conversations you have with these loved ones. Once a week or so, have a discussion about anything other than the kids, the house, bills, other family or work. Talk about a funny thing you heard or saw, a movie you’ve seen recently or would like to see. Get out of the rut of the mundane ‘family speak’ and venture into ‘dating speak’. You remember those times. You could sit for hours talking about dreams of the future of memories from the past.
Of course, I believe I have never been guilty of this particular affliction. I will pay heed in the future when I’m with my loved ones. If I see their eyes glaze over, I’m going to try the face to face approach along with adjusting the tone of my voice and quality of conversation. It’s worth a try. AND they just might Shut the damn door!