Going to a gym is an interesting experience. A variety of sights to behold. Babes in scanty outfits who are extremely proud of their bodies and buff guys wearing tight shorts and cutoff shirts can be intimidating to the neophyte. Don’t get me wrong, there are the regular folks in sweatpants and t-shirts too. Even a few body builder types with glistening skin as if  they are oiled up and ready for a photo op.

Words of advice: DO NOT make eye contact! Your self esteem will plummet if you do. DO NOT look at any of the mirrors as, these too, are self esteem deflators. My personal tactic is to keep my head down and head straight to the locker room.

Audrey has been gym shopping and finally settled on one where trainers or spotters roam the gym. They keep an eye out to make sure to help you and advise you on the machines that will work best for you and your level of fitness.

Audrey worked on a step type machine on one trip to the gym. She was stepping and really thought that she was doing a great job. That was, until she looked over to the machine a few spots away and spied the gentleman with one leg going about 100 miles per hour. She almost lost her balance. How in the world did he go so fast? Her ego took quite a hit as she realized with her two legs, she was only going about 3 miles per hour.

On her next trip, Audrey thought she’d give the treadmill a run for it’s money. This too proved to be a bit challenging. Does one stand on the side rails and start the machine and ‘jump’ onto the moving belt? Or does one stand on the belt before starting the machine? Hmmm, as she thought about the different outcomes, standing on the belt seemed like the better choice. Audrey looked around to see if there was a seat belt or something to help keep her on the straight and narrow. No such luck with the seat belt but the treadmill helped her ego as she did get a compliment from a trainer that she had done a ‘good job!’

The bicycle/arm machines are interesting. Audrey explained that you can’t think about what you’re doing when you are working out on one of these. You can get confused if you over think the process. Your arm and the opposite leg work together pushing and pulling. There is also a speedometer on this device as well. In addition, it can be programmed for incline as if one is climbing or cycling up a hill or mountain. Too bad there isn’t a virtual screen so that you can feel as if you are actually riding outside.

Using the pool has it’s own set of issues. There are prima donnas and showboaters here too. I made the mistake of attempting to attend the water aerobics class. Oh my, these women are vicious and proprietary. Who knew? Starting in the locker no less. I thought all of the lockers were up for grabs. Noooooo waaaaaay. As I started to open a locker to put my keys and phone away a lady nearby yelled.

“You can’t use that one. That’s Lucille’s. She’ll be here in a minute.”

I moved over to another locker and heard “Nope, that one is Linda’s, she won’t like it if she finds a lock on it.”

Okay, I go to an entirely different area of the locker room. No one is around and there aren’t any locks on any of the lockers. This must be a safe place. I opened a locker. Not hearing any comments or yelling, I went for it and put my stuff inside and locked it. Whew!

I headed out to the pool area. The instructor was making sure to tell everyone what equipment to grab. I picked up the required items and headed into the pool. A few ladies were already in the pool. I walked over to an area furthest from the instructor thinking that I would be out of the way.

“Hey, that’s my spot. Get out of there” a very serious women said to me.

I moved my equipment to another area again “Who are you? That is Mary’s spot.”

Man, I can’t catch a break. No help from the instructor either. More and more women come out of the locker room and get into the pool. I keep moving from one area to another until finally, I just get out of the pool and get into the jacuzzi. No one is in there, surely I am not in anyones way here.

It wasn’t easy doing the workout in the Jacuzzi. It is a small compact area. Eventually, I gave up and just enjoyed the bubbles, jets and warm soothing waters.

I haven’t been back to the water aerobics class but do use the pool for laps etc. Some days I have the pool all to myself. Others, the geriatric Olympic swimmer is there. He still works out as if he is Mark Spitz or Michael Phelps. Hey, I think Spitz is old enough to be called geriatric. Now that’s depressing. A couple of women swim a few laps and then have a gab fest in the jacuzzi. An older gentleman walks up and down one of the lanes. His daughter brings him to the gym. She works out on the machines or does a spin class and he uses the pool. A nice arrangement.

An interesting an varied group of gym rats. Hope that your gym is as interesting.