I hit the snooze alarm planning to catch a couple more zzz’s. Suddenly, I hear a Beep and then a female voice say “Fire” pause Beep “Fire” pause Beep “Fire”.

What the Hell?

I get out of bed and look for the source. Turns out it is the one remaining new smoke detector that still needs to be installed. It has been in my bookcase in my bedroom for months. Why now? I think.

I pick the offensive thing up and poke at it until the beeping and “Fire” stop.

Whew. Well, so much for a few extra zzzzs. I proceed to brush my teeth and wash my face when all of a sudden I hear

Beep “Fire” pause Beep “Fire” pause Beep “Fire”.

I once again poke at it and it stops. I try to take the back off to locate the battery but these new 10 year warranty ones DO NOT have access to the battery area that I can find.

All is quiet again and I head to the kitchen to start my coffee, feed the dog and get on with the rest of my morning ritual. Diva is happily taking a few bites of her food, the coffee is brewing all is good. What the Heck?

AGAIN

Beep “Fire” pause Beep “Fire” pause Beep “Fire”.

I have no more patience. I grab my trusty pink handled hammer from the tool drawer and begin to pummel the damn thing on the kitchen floor. I place it on the counter believing that I have truly triumphed over the beast!

Wrong

As I am sipping my coffee a few last gasping

beep “fire”I pick up the obnoxious object, head to the garage door, turn off the alarm, toss the annoying smoke detector on the ground and bash, wack, pound, crush and wallop it until it is in pieces begging for mercy.

I have successfully conquered the gadget. Yay for me.

Sigh.

Now I have to buy another one. Satisfaction was short lived.

Frances Graziano Copyright 2019 All Rights Reserved