I recently returned from visiting family and have been reflecting on the art of being a guest or host. I believe the rules are different if you are a friend or a family member.

Friend

The host or hostess will often leave a basket either in the guest room or guest bathroom containing trial size shampoos, conditioners, chapstick, aspirin or tylenol equivalent, small bottle of water and a snack of some kind along with a few other items the host/hostess might deem necessary.

A note with the wifi name and password for the guest’s wireless devices.

A luggage rack for placement and easy access of the guest’s luggage.

A wash cloth, hand and bath towel set on the corner of the bed.

On a vacation to a friend’s home a few years ago, I was treated to all of the above. A group of us were staying together and it was a blast. We each had our own ‘special’ basket made just for us.

Family

Clean sheets.

You know the wifi name and code.

Shove the suitcase in the corner.

The linen closet it down the hall so, get your own damn towel.

Friend

Host/Hostess will prepare the kitchen with a cup for either coffee or tea, the K-cups for either, various types of sugar or sugar substitutes, and cream or milk in the refrigerator. Instructions for using the coffee machine and choices for breakfast are available should the guest arise before the host/hostess.

As a guest, fixing a cup for the host/hostess is a nice gesture.

Family

Find a cup and locate where the k-cups are because they have been moved from the last time you were in town. Realize that there isn’t any cream for the coffee and resort to using the almond milk. Have a banana that you find on the table in the fruit basket.

Fix a cup of coffee for family that drinks it. Have a juice box ready for the little one when he gets up. Prepare his lunch for school (remember, it is a ‘nut free zone’ so no peanut butter and jelly sandwiches) include Oreo cookies or a Baby bel cheese ball and fill the thermos with fresh water.

Friend

As a friend, you are expected to wear a robe if you exit your room prior to dressing for the day. Slippers are a good idea as well.

Thinking back yes, I did wear a robe when the ‘goddesses’ gathered for the balloon fest. I packed the thinnest, lightest cover-up I could find.

Family

We didn’t wear robes around the house when they lived at home, why start now? I know my body shape and what it looks like in pajamas, but hey, we’re Family! I was asked if I was really going to go into the living room wearing only my PJ’s and  no robe. ‘Yes’ was my reply.  Again, ‘we’re family.’

Let it be known that said family members do not don robes either. For the record, one family member wears boxer shorts for PJ’s. These boxers have seen better days shall we say. No, nothing escapes or is visible but there is always a chance! AND, I have to wear a robe when  all my body parts are covered? I’m just saying, my bathing suit shows more skin!

Friend

Museums, Art galleries, concerts and various sightseeing adventures are a few things shared with the host/hostess. Getting to know the town. Leisurely chats over a glass of wine or coffee. Lazing over a cup of coffee in the morning and planning the day’s activities.

Family

You know the town, you used to live here. No need to get to know it. Costco, grocery shopping, baby sitting, chores, laundry and anything else needing to get done around the house. Quick bite of something before leaving house for school. Run errands and then another quick bite for lunch before pick up at the school. PTA meetings, play dates and drive thru coffee. No time for leisurely chats over coffee or wine. Hit the ground running in the morning, go go go.

Friend

A thank you note to the hostess and or a small gift left in the guest room is a nice gesture on the part of a friend.

Family

By now, they are so glad that you are leaving, They give YOU a thank you note!

A friend once gave the advice that the bed or couch for guests should only be comfortable enough for a 3 to 5 day stay. He tested numerous mattresses until he found the one that was ‘just right.’ Family never stayed longer than a week and the last few days took a toll on their backs.

Thankfully, my family has an extremely comfortable guest bed ,for which I am very grateful and appreciative. Though, after this post, that may change. Wink, wink.

Love you family! See you next trip!